6 months ago

Friday, October 3rd, 2008

6 months ago today my life changed forever. 6 months ago tomorrow I did the second hardest thing I’ve ever done. 6 months from next week I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

It isn’t any easier. I don’t feel any better. I am still angry, hurt, confused and tired. The nightmares have stopped at least. I am still asking why. I still look at his pictures. I still weep. I still ache. I still don’t understand.

Still, still, still, still… I still wish we could have kept him.

I love you, Felix.

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This entry was posted on Friday, October 3rd, 2008 at 11:39 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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About Me

Gabriel Elliott Groce

I am a wife, a mother, a woman of God. I have 3 living children and 2 in Heaven. I am writing of the loss of my youngest sons: Felix David who died April 2, 2008 (no known cause) at 24w 3d and was born still on April 4, 2008 and Gabriel Elliott who was born on October 19, 2009, lived for 32 minutes and died peacefully in his daddy's arms. (Gabe was diagnosed with limb-body wall complex - a rare and fatal birth defect - at 19w 6d and we chose to carry him to term.)

I may be upbeat at times, down or silent at others. I hope that by writing about my experiences I can help people understand my grief and maybe help them through theirs.

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