cast

Thursday, June 5th, 2008

I was thinking that going back to work is like taking off a cast. You broke your leg and have had a cast on for weeks. Now the doctor tells you you’ve healed enough to take it off and walk like normal. You’d like to believe him but your leg still feels weak and vulnerable. That’s how I feel.

Today was my first full day back. Today seemed more “normal.” I haven’t really been able to concentrate. I have managed to cry everyday so far, though. I just don’t know when it’s going to happen. I’m able to talk to some people and be fine. Then with others I end up bursting into tears. I felt bad today because it wasn’t really anything she said, the tears just came. Yesterday I cried all the way home. It’s much more emotionally exhausting than I had anticipated.

That’s how it’s going for me. The kids are doing fine being home without me. That’s good. I wanted this to be easy for them.

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About Me

Gabriel Elliott Groce

I am a wife, a mother, a woman of God. I have 3 living children and 2 in Heaven. I am writing of the loss of my youngest sons: Felix David who died April 2, 2008 (no known cause) at 24w 3d and was born still on April 4, 2008 and Gabriel Elliott who was born on October 19, 2009, lived for 32 minutes and died peacefully in his daddy's arms. (Gabe was diagnosed with limb-body wall complex - a rare and fatal birth defect - at 19w 6d and we chose to carry him to term.)

I may be upbeat at times, down or silent at others. I hope that by writing about my experiences I can help people understand my grief and maybe help them through theirs.

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