Did you miss me?

My family took a trip with my in-laws to visit the Mouse in Florida.  That’s why I haven’t posted for a while.  That and I didn’t really have anything to say.

It was a good time.  There were parts that were rough, too.  Like the day I just sat and cried the whole time we were eating lunch because a small baby was crying at the table next to us and I wish we’d had one to chime in with her.  (really glad the milk has dried up because otherwise I’m sure I would’ve needed a new shirt)  I also about had a heart attack on the carousel when I heard a woman say “Gabriel!  Gabriel!  Smile, honey!”  Ugh, this really doesn’t get easier.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.  “Why did you go to Disney when you know there are babies everywhere?”  Honestly, it wasn’t my idea.  But how can you say no to your other children?  (the man-child included)  For the most part I was fine but those few moments were really hard.

So… Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat and so on.  I still have shopping to do, which is neither stressful nor surprising.  I like to spread it out.  And, as usual, we have about 100 gatherings to go to starting this Friday.  There are Christmas and birthday parties, family gatherings (4 or 5 of them), my anniversary (#9) and a rehearsal and wedding to go to.  I really wanted to just hide and hibernate this year.  We’ve had a rough couple of years and I think that we deserve to do (or not do) whatever we want.  The problem is (for a few of these days) we can’t.  I suppose the truth is I feel like we can’t – in reality the wedding is really the only thing we absolutely can’t miss because Dylan is the ring bearer.  But, frankly, I don’t need the guilt from other people if we don’t show up for some of these things so we’ll go anyway.  Seems a little lose-lose when I put it that way, doesn’t it?

I’m really trying to get into the spirit this year but  I don’t really seem interested.  I’m going to try by getting the tree up tonight.  (yes, tonight, 9 days before the big day)  I am excited for the kids but I’m just not feeling it otherwise.

I know that once things get going I’ll probably be fine and enjoy the time but I’m not looking forward to it today.  (Do you like how I usually talk myself out of the funk-ish thoughts by the end of my posts?)

Time for another disclaimer: Don’t be offended if one of these events I’m not looking forward to is one you are putting on.  It’s not personal – it’s grief.

Want to know what carnies do for Christmas?

Here is what they were up to in 2005, 2006 and 2007.  (one of my favorite moments happens at 12:49 in 2007)

I hear they may be reuniting soon.