I am trying to be aware of situations God places me in so I can figure out what He’s up to with me. Yesterday I was covering for one of my staff who was off. I was making phone calls about deliveries of feeding supplies. I returned a call to a mom who’d had a question about her last delivery and bill. It turns out that between her message Friday afternoon and when I called yesterday, her less than 2 month old son died. I cried with her over the phone and told her that I had lost a son earlier this year. The only other words I managed to squeak out were “just take it day by day.” I knew it was no mistake that I had spoken with her, but I was a little disappointed that that was all I had to say. Now, I know I have to be careful about what I say because I don’t know where these people are coming from but I had to say something. Losing a child is so unnatural; it’s hard to process. And even though there really isn’t anything to say to make it better it’s somehow “comforting” to know that other people have gone through – and survived – the same thing. Maybe as I come across this situation again (though I hope not too many times!) the words will come easier.

(as a side note, we found out 2 other families lost babies yesterday – 5 and 10 months old. WHY??)

(Update on the previous post:
-boys are better, hubby and I have throat infections
-mom had pancreatitis, found some other stuff, no cancer
-mother-in-law is okay, possible irregular heartbeat
-grandpa-in-law’s ulcers cauterized, doing alright)

Now, onto my post. I’m not really sure what to write but I heard from a reader that it’s been a while since I posted so I’m indulging her request.

I went to a Beth Moore simulcast last weekend with two of my friends. This is something we had planned months ago. I was a little reluctant to go after what has transpired over the last 4 (yes, 4 already) months, but I needed to. (reluctancy borne out of “plans” again… I thought I’d be bringing a VERY new, nursing infant. I tried to ignore the woman a few rows back who was blessed enough to be in that situation.) I knew that if I went that God would be faithful to speak. And speak, He did.

Without going into a lot of detail tonight (it’s late), Beth spoke on the parable of the sower as recorded in Luke 8. While speaking on the hearer who is like the rocky ground she struck a chord in me. Luke 8:13 says “Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away.” This was quite a challenge to my faith. Does it have roots? Am I going to take off because my life got hard or am I going to hang on tight to that which is true now just as it was before Felix died?

She encouraged us to hang on; to get into His word and trust Him. Then came my promise, the word I am hanging onto for dear life: Psalm 126:5-6 “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carring sheaves with him.” In the parable, the seed is the word. If I sow the seed of God’s word into my heart and water it with my tears He is faithful to produce a harvest 100 times that which was sown. (Luke 8:8) And I will reap that harvest with SONGS OF JOY!

What a promise. I’m holding Him (and me) to it.